Deal with Divorce

How to deal with divorce with a child

Divorce has a great impact on children, Which changes their lives completely. This is a result of the change in family and the living conditions; regarding this, Divorced parents are full of guilt and fear of how exactly would their separation would affect their children’s lives. This is because their children solely rely on them to feel safe. They on their part do not want their child to deal with divorce.
 
A child feels frightened and puzzled when they see their parents in distress or being carried away by some new challenges. Things would become worst if the parent omitted to disclose the reason behind the change of home environment and emotions. Therefore, such child would misinterpret what’s going on, The Children might begin having some false assumptions, thinking they are the ones who caused such separation. They might even take it upon themselves to bring their parents back together.
 

How can you determine if a parent’s divorce/separation has affected a child?

For Instance, younger children might switch back to some behavior they had grown too big for, such as Bed wetting, throwing tantrums, e.t.c. It is also noticeable that the child might feel more anxious or unhappy when separated from their parent. In contrast, the older children might express the worst of them all, such as Anger, bitterness, guilt, or even relief that their parents are finally getting divorced. This particular children tend to become more aggressive when angry; they also become more depressed than before and begin to exhibit the behavior of an introvert, isolating themselves from society.
 

Below are some behavior/ symptoms that could occur among the children:

 
1. Mood Swinging
 
2. Introvert Behaviour
 
3. Low self-esteem
 
4. Low Academic Performance
 
5.  Behavioral Issues
 
How possibly you can help your child cope or deal with Divorce?
 

Below are some strategies that parents might find useful when helping their children cope with Divorce.

 Communicate together
Don’t let the youngster find out about the Divorce on their own if at all feasible. Both parents need to be there. It is best to convey what is about to happen to children as early as possible, rather than waiting until the very last minute, so that they may better prepare for forthcoming changes. Don’t let the youngster find out about the Divorce on their own if at all feasible. Both parents need to be there. It is best to convey what is about to happen to children as early as possible, rather than waiting until the very last minute, so that they may better prepare for forthcoming changes.
 

Could you not use them?

During your Divorce, it is best not to lean on your children for emotional support. You may find strength in their affection, but assistance should be from friends or family and, if necessary, the direction of professionals. It is best not to air your grievances about your former partner in the presence of your children, and you should never use your children as a messenger between you and your ex.
 

Prevent the spread of stress

Make sure your children are not overhearing you fret about money difficulties or other issues related to Divorce. Although it is necessary to admit that Divorce is tough, it is also crucial to ensure that your kids are not overhearing you. They can take on the worry and dread of others and may get the impression that it is partially their responsibility to address issues that are the purview of adults.
 

Do keep up routines

Maintaining as much consistency as possible with your child’s daily routine, including their mealtimes and the time they are supposed to be in bed, maybe like a life preserver during times of high chaos. Your kid will have a higher chance of feeling a sense of peace and order if you can give as many consistent experiences as you can for them.
 

Don’t demonize your ex.

Don’t engage in a game of who’s to blame, and don’t attempt to convince your kid to see things “your way.” Never place children amid an argument by asking them deceptively “innocuous” questions like, “Does Daddy ever have someone visit?” Children aren’t concerned about who was right or wrong, and they shouldn’t be put in that position.
Say goodbye with a smile.
Make it abundantly obvious to your kid that you are pleased with the time she spends with her other parent when she visits with the other parent.
 

Be sure to look good for yourself.

Spend some of your time taking care of yourself. Find constructive ways to deal with your challenges, such as going to the gym, keeping a food journal, talking to your friends, or keeping in touch with family. You can even join a support group. All these have been recorded to help your children deal with the divorce.
 

Think about getting some help.

Seek professionals’ assistance if you feel your child is struggling to cope with the effects of the divorce. A mental health professional, such as a counsellor or therapist, may be able to provide you and your child with reassurance, as well as establish a framework for healing and hope for the future.
 

Maintain an interest in your child’s life.

Your kid will feel irrelevant if you are not involved in them or don’t make time for them. Your kid desires the involvement of both parents in their lives. Therefore, ensure that your kid is aware of your affection for them. Make time in your schedule to engage in enjoyable pursuits or enjoy quality alone time.
 

Do your best to co-parent.

When you argue, especially when it involves a child, they will hold it against them and believe they are at fault. This causes guilt or depression as a result. Try to avoid involving your child in conflicts by having conversations without them in the room. Instead of communicating through the child, have a direct conversation with the other parent so as to help them deal with the divorce.

Do not make an impossible promise.

In the long term, it is not beneficial to a kid to tell her that she will continue to see the other parent in the same amount of time that she has in the past if this is not really the case. Be honest. It is OK for you to state that you just do not know how the future will unfold.

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