Choosing to become a single mother by choice can seem like an exciting alternative to the traditional experience of becoming pregnant and raising a child on your own, but it’s not without its own set of issues and challenges. If you’re considering single parenthood, you may want to consider the outlined regrets of becoming single mother by choice. These will help you decide if you’re ready for this type of life change and if it’s something you can truly handle.
Is It Normal To Have Regrets
It’s normal to have regrets after making such a big decision, and it’s also normal to feel like you’re not doing things the right way. I became a single mother by choice after my divorce, and while I don’t regret my decision, there are things I wish I could change. Here are five of my biggest regrets:
- Not having enough support
- Feeling isolated and alone
- Struggling financially
- Losing contact with extended family
- Taking on too much responsibility
Hardest Part Of Becoming A Single Mom
When choosing to become a single mother, you need to be prepared for various challenges. Dealing with divorce and single parenthood is not always easy as it can bring some difficult moments. However, even though being a single mom has its own difficulties, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t one of most rewarding and exciting choices you will ever make in your life. A divorce can cause more financial stress than the average family and it might take months or years before the children stop missing their father
The best thing about being a single parent is that you are able to work on yourself and find out who you really are.
The only regret I have from becoming a single mother by choice is not telling my parents sooner. They were very supportive and would have been willing to help me at any time.
In retrospect, I should have been more honest with them. If anything, they could have helped me financially if needed. My second regret was trusting others too much, which caused an emotional strain on myself and my kids.
One thing I learned from this experience is that you can’t let anyone treat you like a doormat. You deserve respect just like everyone else. Having confidence and self-respect goes a long way when raising your children. By doing so, you will teach them how to love themselves enough not to settle for less than what they deserve.
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5 Regrets of Becoming Single Mother by Choice
1) I wish I hadn’t been scared of being alone
I’m not going to lie, becoming a single mother by choice was scary and has its regrets. I was scared of being alone, of not having anyone to help me, and of not being able to do it all on my own. But you know what? I’ve learned that I am strong enough to do it all on my own. And while it’s not always easy, it’s worth it.
Being a single mom has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. I love how close we are, how much he looks up to me, and how much fun we have together (even when we’re doing the dishes). It’s so great watching him grow up into this smart, handsome boy who knows just how lucky he is. I’ve never been more proud of myself than I am right now.
I wish I hadn’t given up on myself: As an adult, raising kids as a single parent is hard work. You’re juggling everything from school drop-offs to late night homework sessions and trying to find time for yourself feels impossible.
2) I wish I had prepared myself for the loneliness
I remember the first time I felt truly alone after becoming a single mother by choice. It wasn’t a good feeling. I was sitting in my living room, holding my baby girl and feeling completely overwhelmed. Seriously, I had prepared myself for the physical challenges of parenting, but I wasn’t prepared for the emotional challenges.
The loneliness was one of the hardest things to deal with. I felt like I had no one to talk to about the struggles I was facing. But now I know that even though it feels impossible at times, there are ways to get through this phase. And when you finally do find someone who can empathize with what you’re going through – it’s such an amazing feeling!
3) I wish I hadn’t assumed it would be easier because my child was planned
I assumed that since I was the one who chose to become a single mother, it would be easier than if it had happened unexpectedly. I was wrong.
It’s been hard in so many ways that I didn’t anticipate. The biggest being how difficult it is to make ends meet on my own. I work full-time and while we live comfortably enough, there’s never anything left over for savings or an emergency fund.
My child is healthy and happy, but the cost of daycare takes up most of my paycheck every month. I’ve made friends with other moms and have even started dating again, but as soon as I get close to someone they usually leave town because they’re in the military or their job relocated them.
The greatest regrets of becoming single mother though? Not having more time with my child when she was young. She’ll be starting kindergarten this year, which means less time for us together at home during her waking hours.
4) I wish I hadn’t worried so much about what other people think
I remember the first time I told my parents I was considering becoming a single mother by choice. They were less than supportive, to say the least. But I didn’t let their opinion stop me from doing what I felt was best for me.
In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t worried so much about what other people think and just gone ahead with my decision. It’s not as if being a single mother by choice is something that happens every day. I’ve been surprised at how accepting people have been once they know all the facts. And it’s not like anyone can take away my experiences or the happiness they’ve brought into my life.
Sure, sometimes it’s hard to get up in the morning when I haven’t slept well because there are dishes piled in the sink and someone needs to clean them before we go to work. Sometimes my baby cries inconsolably while she eats her cereal because she doesn’t want any more oatmeal this morning. Sometimes my toddler has tantrums in the grocery store because he wants more candy bars.
But these are just part of being a mom, right?
5) But mostly, I wish I hadn’t used my age as an excuse
I’m now 37 and I have no regrets about becoming a single mother by choice. If anything, I feel like it was the best decision I ever made. However, there are a few things I wish I had done differently.
First, I should have been more open to dating. There were many times when a guy would ask me out or show interest in me and my response would be something along the lines of I can’t right now because I need to focus on my daughter.
That excuse never sounded good to me either, but at least if I said No thank you! they knew that what they were asking wasn’t going to happen. I always wanted to take care of myself as well as her, but I really don’t think anyone could handle being with me when I was so exhausted from taking care of her all day long. And while that’s not an excuse for turning down dates, it is an explanation.
It took me three years before I found someone who didn’t seem put off by my having a child, and we’ve been together for almost six years now.
In the end, there are regrets of becoming single mother by choice, but in all, I don’t regret it. It was the best decision I ever made. My daughter is my everything and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. That being said, there are a few things I wish I could go back and change. First, that I didn’t think more about what it means to be a fatherless daughter. Second, that if I were to do this all over again that I would have spent more time considering where my child’s father should be before deciding to keep him out of her life completely.
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